


Emmenez-Moi

by delatrose



Series: Take Me With You Series [2]
Category: Universal Century Gundam
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Corpses, Garma's Ghost, Internal Conflict, M/M, Regret, vague nsfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-10-11 22:44:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20553908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delatrose/pseuds/delatrose
Summary: Just some little oneshots/ficlets I wrote in the same universe as my Take Me With You story, mostly not part of it because I don't know if I want any of them to be canon there, I just thought they were fun concepts. Some can be read without the original story and that will be put in the AN at the beginning.





	1. Lalah Talks

**Author's Note:**

> i feel bad tagging this charma....... no garma's not physically in it, it's just char and lalah talking about their past relationship so is that bad >~>
> 
> absolutely no char/lalah if you came here for char/lalah and just thought i tagged it wrong im sorry but no.
> 
> this can be read completely without the original story tho i do reference it.
> 
> but it takes place pretty soon after the 7th chapter of it jsyk

“Am I a terrible person, Lalah?” he asks as the battle on the television winds down and the reporters replay it, analyzing every move as if it were a sports game.

“Terrible? Not at all, Colonel,” she replies kindly, as he expected. “Why do you ask?”

“What happened with Garma was…” he stops, trying to think exactly how he wants to word it. “He trusted me more than anyone, he loved me. He told me as he was dying, it was cut off by the explosion but I know that’s what he was going to say.” Lalah looks down at her lap as he continues gazing absently at the TV.

“Did you love him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you care about him?”

“I… don’t know.”

“Do you regret what you did?”

“Yes.” She nods triumphantly beside him.

“And when was the last time you regretted something?”

“Never.”

“Not even leaving your sister?” Char shakes his head in amusement. If he were to regret that then he’d be regretting his purpose. Though he did suppose regretting what happened with Garma went along the same lines. If only he hadn’t been a Zabi, if only… well, a lot of things, really. But that was all pointless, wasn’t it?

He’d let himself slip and now he was stuck regretting his only purpose in life, his emotions clouding his judgement despite him not understanding what they even were. Not only that, he felt dirty, disgusting for having used someone like he used Garma. It wasn’t as if he’d never used someone’s emotions for his own gain, he was using Lalah like that right now but that didn’t involve… she knew his motives. She knew his motives and decided to stay with him, but Garma he’d lied to from day one and then… he’d never thought of himself as a romantic. Never even thought about romance at all, really. But during his brief relationship with Garma he found somewhere deep inside that maybe he did want something like that.

During their relationship, he’d almost lost himself too many times, almost forgotten his purpose, almost allowed himself himself get lost. When Garma smiled at him, when he talked about his hopes and dreams, when he showed that stronger side he’d never known existed before. Char couldn’t help but regret that he’d stopped the world from ever seeing all that. And the physical aspect of their relationship… he feared that’s what made it so hard to forget. Garma had always been so innocent in that way, but the fact was that Char was equally as experienced as him but couldn’t show it. He could have, maybe, but that would be letting go of some of his power, weakening his facade. But in the end he was only left with regret.

“I think,” Lalah begins again, “if you regret that despite not regretting anything else in your life then you must have at least cared for him even if it was against your better judgement. Not everyone can accomplish such a feat, but I don’t think you should worry about it too much. You might get the chance to make it up to him someday,” she replies with her mysterious smile. He smiles back and shakes his head with a laugh.

“I doubt it but thank you for the support,” he replies and turns off the TV, tired of the spectacle. 

“I believe in you, Colonel, if anyone can make up for that big of a mistake it’s you,” she reassures. He’s a little confused by her insistence but nods as he stands and walks to the door.

“I’ll do my best, Lalah, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Colonel,” she says but continues to sit on the couch. She seemed to really enjoy having some quiet time to herself at night, she did this almost everyday. Smiling softly at his small protege, he turns the lightswitch off and leaves her to soak in the darkness.

In his own room he takes off his cape and strips to his underwear before lying down in his single bed. Haunting him in the back of his mind is Garma’s soft giggle as they snuck into his room on the ship and lay almost plastered to each other in that tiny cot. As if there is a ghost beside him, Garma’s sleepy smile appears in front of him, his soft cheeks flattened against the mattress and his eyes half shut as the comfort of being together reached them. He felt like he could almost touch him but when he reached out, the image dispersed and he was alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly an extra bc im not entirely confident in my characterization of char here, i mean i think he feels bad about killing garma ofc but i push him to explore his feelings here more than i think he actually would? that he wouldn't just, as a paragon of masculinity, stuff it deep down inside and try to play it cool until he falls into a deep depression or actually explodes seems somewhat ooc to me? most of my extras are just about char doing exactly that tho tbh
> 
> the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us started playing as i was editing the ending of this and i cried
> 
> anyway, it was still fun to write this slightly more sensitive char and i hope you enjoyed him as well. kudos and comments are always appreciated! if you'd like to find me elsewhere im @delatrose on twitter and @mechaking on tumblr


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Garma!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is. a lot. as a story. i've written things like this before but i've never really posted any of them and i was kind of scared for this one as well, but i hope you like it? i feel like it's pretty well-written? more so than usual i think. im proud of it at least. it was inspired by a throwaway gundam-san panel, actually! i saw it and thought "what if i made that a thousand times edgier?" then wrote this
> 
> trigger warnings: gore, blood, body horror, dead bodies, nsfw
> 
> (wow)
> 
> can be read w/o the original story but i do reference it like once or twice. tho it takes place about an hour before the eleventh chapter for anyone reading the other who's curious about a timeline!

“Char! You tricked me, Char! Char, I l—” the voice cut out just there, like it had when it happened, like it always did afterwards. But then came an accompanying image, the voice’s body, bloody and punctured with debris from the ship’s explosion The explosion that had cut off his confession, and had ended his fragile life.

“Char.” The body moved, blood squirting from the wounds and tightening the skin around them with each limp motion as it staggered towards him, lifeless and decrepit. The skin of it was pale, sagging and drained, and the hair seemed to lack its former luster. The worst, however, was his face, his eyes rolled back in his head and his cheeks sallow, blood and burns scattered across his skin as his mouth hung slack. The body hulked over to him slowly, each step it took looking more painful than the last until it was on top of him, in his lap. “Char, I love you.”

The mouth in front of him wasn’t say the words, it hung open like deadweight the entire time the disembodied words were spoken, the veiny eyes above looking past his skull as the statement echoed around him. Char could feel his heart racing inside him, the cold touch of the body freezing his blood and the pupil-less gaze penetrating his mind as the head tilted down to his own until their foreheads touched. From this close, he could distinctly feel the lack of breath coming from the corpse as it sat completely still on top of him.

The image changed and suddenly Garma was warm, naked, and frotting against him.

“Char,” he moaned, “touch me.” Char did as he was told and pressed his fingers against him, stroking up and down, fast and slow and watching intensely as Garma got closer and closer to release, leaning in and hugging his neck so Char could hear all his beautiful sounds right in his ear.

“Garma,” he moaned. He really couldn’t help himself here in the safe space of this dream, he wanted to every time they were together in real life. Wanted to hold on and never let go. But that conflicted with his plans so now all he had were dreams.

“Char! Char, you tricked me! Char, I l—” Just as he was reaching his climax, Garma’s body went cold and limp again. Metal and plexiglass poked at Char’s stomach as he struggled against the grip of the dead body. Not even standing could shake the body off and instead he had to desperately rip the arms off to get the slimy, dead feeling away from him. 

As the body and arms fell off of him in opposite directions, Garma’s eyes rolled back to his face and looked at him with immense pain, making it clear his prince no longer sparkled as he used to. His mouth was no longer slack and instead twisted into a wretched frown, too blue lips pulling together in a severe pout and wobbling just slightly above a strained chin, stained with blood from the shattered plastic rupturing his trachea just below it. Char wanted to reach out to him, to pick him back up and comfort him. To say that he’d never do it again, that he was sorry, that he loved him. But he had no arms or mouth anymore, he couldn’t find where he existed at all. Instead, he could only watch as Garma’s body fell to the ground, the debris shoved deeper into him by the impact as he openly sobbed and wailed, his tears falling red down his pallid cheeks.

Char wakes with a start, pulled out of his dream by some unknown force and he instantly feels around himself, trying to find Garma in the empty space of his bed before remembering. As if he’d ever let himself be vulnerable enough to have a nightmare with Garma around, as if Garma was alive enough to even try. Sighing, he stands and walks to the bathroom, turning on the lights and grabbing his toothbrush. As he looks at himself in the mirror, mask off, he truly sees what a mess he is, the skin beneath his eyes deep and purple. Garma and Lalah are gone, never coming back, and he’s still having these stupid nightmares. 

The night before this had been Lalah and the night before that had somehow incorporated both of them but he has no choice other than to pull through. Ignore the weariness, the bags under his eyes, the pain of his loss and continue on. If he had to kill Garma then he’s going to see this whole thing through for sure. Because, otherwise, what was the point of Garma’s death? Why had he killed one of the few friends he’d ever had and let another die in front of him if he was just going to give up on his plan in mourning? No, he has to see this through.

“Sir! We’re enclosing on A Baoa Qu!” an officer says as he knocks on his door.

“Good, I’ll be on the bridge in one minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed it!! happy birthday to garma, my darling boy!!!!! (sorry if i fetishize your death too much...)


	3. Last Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kycilia gives Shana her last words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! the main chara of this is an oc i introduced in take me with you so it's quite necessary to read that before reading this!! (also the relevant plot material is up to the last chapter)
> 
> dont. ask me what ship they're in like idgaf and i have no idea
> 
> im in it for the robots but that dont mean i gotta know their names

“He’s alive, isn’t he?” Kycilia asks, handcuffed to the back of Shana’s Federation-issue fighter as they travel outside the Earthsphere, hiding from the Federation and Zeon’s remnants.

Shana turns to their passenger briefly but doesn’t answer her question, keeping their focus on the radar and making a path farther and farther from the ships hunting them.

“I figured you wouldn’t answer, that’s why he likes you though, isn’t it? Someone who’ll just listen to him ramble on and on without saying a word, he’s always liked to do that. You don’t need to answer anyway, your life is more than proof enough. My dearest little brother is alive, I’m glad.”

Shana isn’t sure how they should feel about this, doesn’t know what to expect from the notoriously cryptic Zabi. Shana’s never been a big fan of hers, nor the way she treated Garma but it’s not as if they can really say anything of worth. So they let her talk, perhaps like Garma she just needs someone to ramble to in these fleeting moments of her life.

“But I suppose he won’t want to see me, will he? I realize I may not have been the best older sister.” She laughs derisively at herself, as if understanding the enormity of her understatement. “That’s fine, I have no time for such regrets. If I get out of this then I’ll go straight back to what I was doing, if he stands against me then that is how it must be. I don’t have much but I am still the heir to Zeon and I will continue in my Father’s vision. I’ll admit it will be odd, I am not Gihren and I do not believe in his way of doing things so being a supreme leader is not something I’ve ever envisioned for myself. As you know, I’m much more suited to the shadows.”

Shana nods to show they are listening, although they’re not quite sure what to think of all this, from what it seems, Kycilia appears to be losing her train of thought. The rambling feels incoherent and somewhat nonsensical, not like the bold sort of statements they’re used to hearing from her

“But regrets? I have no time to dwell on such things. The things I’ve done were necessary, mistakes are unacceptable and I do not believe I have made even one. If I was a bad sister then that is what I was meant to be. If Garma hates me, then that is how it should be. We all make our own ways but what happens happens and there is no use lingering in it. I surely won’t linger on them, that would ruin the future and I… you’ll make sure I don’t have one of those, won’t you?”

Shana nods again.

“Yes, you’re friends with the Deikun siblings. Of course you want me dead. Then I hope Garma agrees with you, I won’t accept any judgement but his.”

“He does,” Shana confirms.

“Have the Deikuns corrupted his mind? It was him who stopped Casval from killing me, I should have seen this coming." She clicks her tongue against the front of her teeth. "He’s so deep in that traitor’s pocket.”

“His decision,” Shana contradicts.

“I’m wrong? I see… that’s good. I’m glad he can finally stand up for what he believes in. If that’s what is happening I only have one thing left to say. And I’ll tell it only to you, since you won’t repeat it to anyone else.” Shana nods carefully, unsure if they’re ready to hear what she says next. “Good. I have no regrets from my life and my last wish is for Garma to take on the will of the Zabis. No matter how he interprets it, may he feel the strength of his family pass into him. You all have my blessing.”

She says nothing after that and Shana grips the steering cons silently, trying to process what she’s just been told. The main thing they understand from it is that they hate Kycilia, specifically, for putting this burden on them. They’ve been the ear for Garma’s secrets for years but they never really minded that much. With Garma it’s always something like his and Char’s affair which was sweet despite it’s inevitable calamity. But everything Kycilia says just grates on their nerves. She acts as if she’s so wonderful and perfect despite putting all the pressure on those she claims to love, manipulating them though she doesn’t even realize it. And now Shana has to live with this, they have to keep on going knowing their best friend’s sister’s last words were another attempt to use him for her own purposes.

Will of the Zabis, what bullshit.

Soon enough, though not soon at all, Sayla contacts them again and tells them they’ve finished the treaty signing and that Kycilia is to be handed over to Federation forces. Kycilia says nothing. Sayla meets them as they step onto the colony where Kycilia’s trial will take place and she smiles and hugs Shana. Shana picks her up and spins her around, rejoicing in the sweet ring of her laughter after such a long silence beside the Zabi sister.

But even during her trial she doesn’t say a word. It’s not as if they can’t find others to testify against her but she doesn’t even attempt to defend herself. There’s no way they can know what she says in private with her lawyer, but he seems so frustrated that it can’t possibly be useful if she says anything at all. She may have been a little too honest in admitting she only had one thing left to say. And now Shana is alone in knowing her truest face.

When it comes time for Kycilia’s execution, Garma asks them to go with him but they can’t bring themself to present her with the brother she had cursed with her last words. Instead, they stay with Sayla who cries into their chest about her troubled childhood and how guilty she feels for being relieved at the death of the person who caused her so much pain.

It may be a difficult world they live in, but they all have their reasons for living and when those are gone, they will become silent. Just like Kycilia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shana and sayla are cute... i want to write more of them..................... no motivation tho


End file.
